Oct 23, 2011

nothing just rumbling

I've been irritated with myself a lot these days and I know why, but don't know how I can free the stress away. I might as well rumble here and see if I'd feel soothed after... please stay away if you're looking for an inspiring story to read. These won't be any in this entry, I'm afraid.

So, why I'm stressed? First of all, I'm fed up with myself saying that I'd be able to improve my English if I keep on enjoying it, when I'm well aware that I won't be able to expect any conspicuous progresses unless I study harder more and more. And secondly, I don't have anyone to talk with about these things around me in the real life. I have many tadoku friends and get together over the net, but I kind of feel reluctant to talk about how you learn English other than tadoku among tadokers since it's clear that what I rumble here and there is really harmful to the beginners of tadoku or even long-time tadokers.

I'm sometimes said that I should no longer call myself a learner of English, but just a user of it. Other times I was said that I shouldn't be pitying on me about my English ability when I can do many thing, from reading any kinds of books to getting together with many people from abroad in some forums or blogs this much. But, you know, as you get better at English, you're likely to encounter much bigger and tougher challenges and they sometimes leave you a devastating feeling behind.

When you're a beginner, people won't expect you to be correct or precise, so it's okay to write whatever you come up with. If there is something vague or misleading, people might think such a misunderstanding were caused simply by the lack of your writing skills and don't get harsh or anything. But once you start to write grammatically correct English with certain manner or tone, then they don't assume anymore that you're consuming extremely lots of energy to write thoughts or feelings in mails or comments and tend to take your words just what they are in the context of their language and culture.  Then what happens is that you're misunderstood unexpectedly and get some critical messages or harsh words unreasonably even when you mean to be just modest and good intended.

The more you be good at English, the more you're likely to run into tough situations, I've come to know it the hard way...


Whiskers said...

I wish you a 'Good' morning, emmie-san.

I just have no idea what went wrong, but try to take it easy.
Native speakers are not that strict to non-native speakers picking on mistakes, I guess, considering my own experiences and what I've observed as far as it's not some serious international diplomatic or business matters, however good your English is. Right?
Of course there are some who are not that nice and snicker about what little mistakes.
However, just put yourself in their shoes. Are we that critical about Japanese language of non-native speakers? And here again, there are always some mean Japanese people, too.

Or is that because of peer English learners?? I have to admit that foreign language learners are sometimes very competitive and much worse than native speakers.

Anyway, don't get upset too much, emmie-san. Those moments you feel devastated are a good chance for you to step forward.
Wow, don't I sound like some good motivational speaker!

Mrs. Malone said...

Hi, thanks for the comment to cheer me up. I was able to settle my bewilderment over the weekend and now I'm feeling quite uplifting, especially after I exchanged some messages with that amazing lady, you know who^^, in FB.
It's not so difficult to clear misunderstandings when you can talk with English-speaking people face to face, but when it comes to the communication over the net, no matter how well your English writing is, you can't be free from misinterpretations or minor troubles.
In my case, I belong to a group which members come from different countries, so even everyone uses English, their English is not always the one we studied with textbooks, and it tends to have slightly different grammar rules or phrases, I guess. And what makes the matter complicating is that some believe that they're using standard English...
Well, anyway, there are many more things you can't learn with textbooks, right?

Yeah, competitive learners, I know I know. I've got to stay away from...

Whiskers said...

Good for you, emmie-san!

You're vert lucky to have such a friend/mentor you can respect who you can turn to when necessary.

Yeah, communication over internet is sometimes difficult even in Japanese.

Anyway, it was good to know you're feeling better now.:D