I've been irritated with myself a lot these days and I know why, but don't know how I can free the stress away. I might as well rumble here and see if I'd feel soothed after... please stay away if you're looking for an inspiring story to read. These won't be any in this entry, I'm afraid.
So, why I'm stressed? First of all, I'm fed up with myself saying that I'd be able to improve my English if I keep on enjoying it, when I'm well aware that I won't be able to expect any conspicuous progresses unless I study harder more and more. And secondly, I don't have anyone to talk with about these things around me in the real life. I have many tadoku friends and get together over the net, but I kind of feel reluctant to talk about how you learn English other than tadoku among tadokers since it's clear that what I rumble here and there is really harmful to the beginners of tadoku or even long-time tadokers.
I'm sometimes said that I should no longer call myself a learner of English, but just a user of it. Other times I was said that I shouldn't be pitying on me about my English ability when I can do many thing, from reading any kinds of books to getting together with many people from abroad in some forums or blogs this much. But, you know, as you get better at English, you're likely to encounter much bigger and tougher challenges and they sometimes leave you a devastating feeling behind.
When you're a beginner, people won't expect you to be correct or precise, so it's okay to write whatever you come up with. If there is something vague or misleading, people might think such a misunderstanding were caused simply by the lack of your writing skills and don't get harsh or anything. But once you start to write grammatically correct English with certain manner or tone, then they don't assume anymore that you're consuming extremely lots of energy to write thoughts or feelings in mails or comments and tend to take your words just what they are in the context of their language and culture. Then what happens is that you're misunderstood unexpectedly and get some critical messages or harsh words unreasonably even when you mean to be just modest and good intended.
The more you be good at English, the more you're likely to run into tough situations, I've come to know it the hard way...