Aug 7, 2010

been to my used-to-be home

I've been out of Tokyo for a while to visit my used-to-be hometown, Nishinomiya.
It's still the town where I spent the longest time of my whole life, my childhood, junior high, high school and univ. days, and in my twenties, however, coming back to that town reminds me of nothing particularly memorable.
After the huge earthquake hit the town some time ago and many parts of the town collapsed in a few seconds, lots of buildings, stations and popular places are renewed or reconstructed and quite big shopping malls are built one after another near the stations. The scenery I was familiar with doesn't exist any more. It's just sad to acknowledge the loss of good old days. I sometimes see my self as a floating leaf on the pond which you'll never tell where it's going to end up.
That's why I don't frequent going back there anymore, but my family doesn't understand my feelings and judge me as a cold heartless person, I guess. I'm hurt with their careless words time to time, but I take it as a fair accusation because I'm the only one of my family, who had to move out of Kansai area and start a new life in unknown new places, which belong to different cultures. They'll never how hard it is to change your lifestyle and behaviors completely depending on where you live and which culture you belong to. Now I'm becoming a busy town people whether I like it or not, but I'm sure I've got to move again someday and need to struggle to fit myself in a new place. sigh...
Oh, I couldn't get out of the whining mood till the end. I might as well blame this groomy weather today for my being low spirit.

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